Ahmad Ali

reliable source of wise counsel

Dealing with son growing up

This week’s conversation in the car after school.

Monday
Amirul : Abah, Friday, Rifki’s mum wants all of us to go raya visiting after Friday prayers.
Abah : Just you guys?
Amirul : No, the mother said parents as well.
Abah : But Ummi working. (sounded earnest although lazy and trying to get out of it)

Tuesday
Amirul : Abah, we discussed about it and maybe just us go raya outing.
Abah : Who is we?
Amirul : Rifki, Said and me.
Abah : After Friday prayers?
Amirul : Yes. Then bring my ezlink card.
Abah : What for? All of you guys live nearby. You guys can walk.
Amirul : Rifki said maybe we go Harbour Front.
Abah : (!!!!! WHAT THE…..!!! Looking and sounding cool) Go Harbour front? Whatever for?
Amirul : Chill and walk around.

!!!!!!!!!!!!! AM I GETTING OLD???????? HOW OLD IS HE???? WHAT IS HAPPENING???? IS THIS HAPPENING NOW???? I just kept quiet. HAALLLOOOO, ARENT YOU SUPPOSE TO ASK ME FIRST WHETHER YOU CAN GO???

My immediate take was to deal with it when the time comes. I try not to say no too often. I would like to see how he is developing. Plus, I need time to adjust and react. I need to weigh all options and know how best to cope with this.

I told the mrs. She of course got all mushy. “Eh jangan lah, Da besar my boy.” (Oh no! My boy is all grown up) IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY??? Sheesh. But I know she leaves things to me.

Wednesday
Ok, hopefully they forgot about it and decided to play marbles instead – errr lego or toy cars…yeah toy cars.

Amirul : Abah, I think raya outing cancel.
Abah : What about Harbour Front?
Amirul : We didnt discuss that today. Maybe tomorrow.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Update the mrs and she stared blankly and went on to play her iphone. Thanks eh.

Thursday
Amirul : Abah, Harbour front cancel. But after Friday prayers, I play soccer at street soccer court.
Abah : Which street soccer court? (worried that it might be at East Coast..ok im exaggerating)
Amirul : Street soccer court ah. The one near our place.
Abah : Near the mosque there? (want to double confirm because there is another one on the other side of clementi)
Amirul : Yes

Phew! much nearer. Can let go with leash. I was not keen either because sometimes rowdy guys play there. Then again he needs to improve his game and better if he plays with his peers. Think think think. Bah! I decided to wait.

Friday
IT RAINED!!! WUHOO!!! I guess no raya outing, no harbour front and soccer. I told the mother via msn. She replied;

“LOL”
“Da besar my son”

?????????????

Abah : Mirul, it is raining. So you cant play football. (hey, i didnt say no outright. it rained. not my fault.)
Amirul : hmmm, but we set oredi. Plus its not raining anymore.
Abah : But its slippery. You guys will slip and fall. The court is hard. You might hit your head. (chances of prevention getting slimmer. Might have to use the Father card)
Amirul : i call Rifki k?

Ok got hope to shift the burden to someone else. I might not have to be the bad guy after all. After a couple of minutes.

Amirul : Abah, we have a problem. Rifki’s sister said he has gone out for soccer.
Abah : (WHAT THE HECK. without sounding resigned) ok go then. Take care of yourself and do not bring the phone.

For the first time, he was lightning fast in getting dress and off he went. No need to prod hurry up. Da besar my boy.

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