When I became a champion
Finding the right barber was difficult. I had been to faraway sengkang to find the right hands for my hair. Little that I know, that the right one, on his day, was right next block. I have been going to him for about 8 years now. Most times his cuts are fine, but sometime, questionable. You can ask Doc what he thinks. He has been going to the chinese twin girls across the road.
My son, Amirul has only known one barber in his life. From his first cut where he cried till going to the barber all by himself now. Cik Abu, our barber, has seen him grow. And to me, he does a wonderful job on Amirul’s hair. At times, I would ask,
“Cik Abu, can cut my hair like my son?”
“Can, change your head to his.”
I paid and left of course. We have bountiful conversation each time I visit. Spiritual, dyeing of hair – which he tells me to get a paint, football of course – he is an ardent arsenal fan, business and life in general. Yesterday was similar. I had my post 40th birthday cut and open another topic. I have it in malay because it has more impact, it was how the topic was discussed. English translation below.
Kkkrrreeeeeettttttt…sound of the trimmer starting.
Me : Cik Abu, saya dah masuk 40 tahun.
Deet…sound of trimmer stopping.
Cik Abu : Apa?
Me : Saya dah empat puluh. Last week.
Cik ABu : Kau dah man sekarang.
Didnt hear that right.
Me : Apa Cik Abu?
Cik Abu : Man.
Double confirming.
Me : Man? Lelaki.
He is getting agitated. Walking with the scissors. Should I run?
Cik Abu : Ah ah. Kau dah man sekarang. Dah besar. Fikiran kau dah matang tak? (Pointing to his head with a comb in one hand and on another a pair of scissors)
Me : Dah.
Well I like to think so.
Cik Abu : Then ok. Kau dah man. Kalau dah empat puluh tapi fikiran tak matang, habis. (Shaking his head and scissors. Gulp!)
Me : Kira jaguh ah.
Cik Abu : AH! Kau dah jaguh. Lelaki bila dah empat puluh, dah become man. Dah jaguh. Kira kau dah besar. Aku bila empat puluh semua tukar. Tak temper temper lagi. Dah rilek. Cool aje. Apa orang cakap, aku diam aje. Biarkan.
Zzzeeeeetttttt…hair being trimmed.
Cik Abu : Bila kau empat puluh, nanti isteri kau lagi cemburu.
Me : Cemburu??? Betul jugak tu.
Cik Abu : Ah ah. Aku tak gila perempuan li. Aku smart. Pakaian cantik, rapi, dari dulu lagi. Itu pasal isteri aku cemburu. Tak boleh tengok aku smart.
Me : (Laugh)
Cik Abu : Kat rumah, berderet baju. Sepatu, 8 pasang. Aku suruh orang belikan, kat philippine, indonesia, mana mana ah yang ada cantik cantik. Nanti kawan aku belikan. Aku kasi dia duit.
Actually, that is true. He is well dressed, all the time.
Cik Abu : Dulu bila aku start sini, cina takut nak gunting ah.
Me : Iye ke?
Cik Abu : Ah ah. Aku tak bedek kau. Betul.
Me : Wah Cik Abu, rambut saya pun dah smart ni.
Cik Abu : Sudah lah kau! Jalan dah!
Jaguh just left the building.
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Kkkrrreeeeeettttttt…sound of the trimmer starting.
Me : Mr Abu, I have reached 40.
Deet…sound of trimmer stopping.
Cik Abu : What?
Me : Im 40 now. Birthday last week.
Cik ABu : You are a man now.
Didnt hear that right.
Me : What did you say?
Cik Abu : Man.
Double confirming.
Me : Man? As a man.
He is getting agitated. Walking with the scissors. Should I run?
Cik Abu : Ah ah. You are a man. You have grown. You are big. Is your brain matured? (Pointing to his head with a comb in one hand and on another a pair of scissors)
Me : Yes.
Well I like to think so.
Cik Abu : Then ok. You are a man. If you are forty but immature, then finish. (Shaking his head and scissors. Gulp!)
Me : So now Im a champion ah.
Cik Abu : AH! You are a champion. Man, when they are forty, they become a man. They are a champion. So you are a grown up now. When I turned forty. I changed. No more temperamental. Im cool about things.
Zzzeeeeetttttt…hair being trimmed.
Cik Abu : When you turned 40, your wife will be more jealous.
Me : jealous??? I think you are right.
Cik Abu : Ah ah. Im not a skirt chaser. I dress smartly. From small, I have dressed appropriately and smartly. That is why my wife is very jealous. She cannot see me very smart.
Me : (Laugh)
Cik Abu : Kat rumah, berderet baju. Sepatu, 8 pasang. Aku suruh orang belikan, kat philippine, indonesia, mana mana ah yang ada cantik cantik. Nanti kawan aku belikan. Aku kasi dia duit.
Actually, that is true. He is well dressed, all the time.
Cik Abu : When I started barbering here, the other races afraid to cut their hair here. Because I was too smart.
Me : Is that right?
Cik Abu : Ah ah. Im not bluffing.
Me : Wah Mr Abu, my hair is now smart.
Cik Abu : Get out!
Champion has just left the building.